The Men From Sealy Shiver
By Jan Bennett
For the benefit of some of our seniors, but to maintain the colour of the occasion,
the word ‘fornicating’ has been used in place of another well-known ‘F’ word.
There was movement in the village, for the word had passed around
That schools of fish were running in the Bay.
Gleaming bream, blackfish and salmon too must all be brought to ground
To be harvested with nets throughout the day.
Gunning tractors and hauling ropes with words of fornication
The fish were huddled tightly – soon to kark.
Midst all the consternation there was added agitation
When from the beach a fellow yelled out, “Shark!”
While the silvery catch churned wildly to escape the net and sharks
And the fornicating sun was setting low,
Tourists escaping from the city, just up here for a lark,
Were playing boulles, applauding every throw.
One player, perspiration dripping, red-faced and rather stout,
Stripped off, and said, “I think I’ll now get cool.”
As he danced into the rippling waves, there came a fisho’s shout,
“Get out of there, you fornicating fool!”
“Sharks!” went up the rowdy chorus from visiting wiseacres.
“Get the bloody buggers!” howled a netter.
So a fisho brave and bold threw a line into the breakers,
It was plain you needed something better.
And a novice in a wetsuit asked if he could lend a hand.
“Grab an oar! Slap the surface,” yelled the crew.
Make the fornicating mongrel leave us – see he’s too close to land –
Look out you mug, he’s heading straight for you.”
The Seal Rocks mascot Jolly, sometimes known as Maurie’s folly,
Leapt to and fro enjoying all the sport.
He herded fish, fetched and ate them, then buried some by golly,
The gulls cleaned up the tiddlers that were caught.
And so the day proceeded from one adventure to the next
Till water-weary workers downed their tools,
Cold beers in colder hands they sipped. “Rotten work!” they said quite vexed,
“We are the biggest fornicating fools!”